Emily and I had become close friends quickly. She had always been very flirtatious with me, all my girlfriends were, but what they didn’t realise is that it may be all shits and giggles to them, but to me it is real. My girlfriends seem to take perverse pleasure in testing all my restraint and will power not to call their bluff and drag them into bed.

Emily was the worst. Slender and petite, blonde with a broad smile and seductive blue eyes. She would always cheekily grab my arse, or drunkenly kiss me on the lips. Tell me I’m hot and whisper dirty things in my ear, glancing over at Mike knowing he would be watching and fantasising about how far she might take her behaviour.

Emily had been in my head for some time. Somehow I had fallen for her. My fantasies were not crude porn-like lesbian antics, but subtle and loving and passionate. I would imagine how soft her skin was and what she would taste like. I would imagine my arm around her tiny waist in the morning. These things and much more swam around my head that night as she kissed me and toyed with me, I could tell the look in her eyes was no longer playful, but had a purpose.

As friends dropped away from the house one by one, I realised I was the last. Emily and I were talking and laughing in the bedroom about the nights events. Mike was walking about the house, closing doors and turning off lights, signalling I wasn’t going home tonight. As he walked into the bedroom Emily and I were already on our knees on the bed, holding hands, touching noses and looking at each other with anticipation. This time it wouldn’t be playing and I wouldn’t be holding back.

Breathing deeply and grinning with excitement, Mike crushed the tension and bounded over- “For fucks sake will you two just get naked already!”

He pulled the string of my wrap around dress and stripped me completely naked in about a second and I lay there laughing. I rolled over onto Emily and he watched while I softly kissed her, letting my tongue roll over hers leaving my saliva on her lips as I moved down her neck, slowly undressing, kissing each bit of body I exposed. She sharply exhaled when I bit her nipple and I knew she liked it.

Teasing him as much as her, he watched me make my way down. She focused on my every move, looked into my eyes and stroked my face leaving the tips of her fingers on the inside of my lips.

I knew this was all about us. All the tension she had been building over months, all the teasing I had endured and I could finally smell the moist fabric as I removed her thong.

I stroked my lips on the inside of her thigh, I could feel the heat rising. I moaned as I slid my tongue inside because at the same time I felt Mikes rough finger tips stroke the curve of my ass and slide his fingers into my pussy. I pushed two fingers inside her and left my thumb pressing against her anus. Emily jerked up, “Naughty girl!” She exclaimed. I laughed smugly and pushed her back onto the bed. I felt the smooth tip of Mikes erection briefly stroke my side as he leaned down to kiss his girlfriend while I buried my face in her cunt.

I slept against Emily’s back while she lay across Mikes chest, leg draped across his thigh. I was still so horny that I could feel the dampness on my thighs; I knew I probably wouldn’t get a wink of sleep with her body next to me.

Minutes or hours could have passed before I felt them both stir. I could tell by the soft motion of her hips rubbing her ass against me she was awake so I reached my hand around and played with her clit. Like me, she was still sopping wet.

Mike turned on his side so I could now feel his cock pressing against my hand. I smothered it in her wetness and teased her clit before guiding it inside, feeling her stretch around his girth. I felt her skin around him as he pulsed.

With every move he made Emily stroked me. She turned to kiss me, breath moaning into my mouth and teeth knocking with every thrust.

After that there were just as many flirtations, but now every touch would remind us of that night. I remember thinking about how Mike was around me now, he became more protective, more loving. Above all, the three of us didn’t let a thing change, she was still my best friend, he was still my best friends boyfriend; we would still go out as normal and give each other this look. That dirty little secret look that made me twitch every time.

Shortly after Emily asked me about doing it again. I had a feeling she would since I had thought about it nearly every day. We were sitting outside the pub, I’ve never seen her squirm so much with awkwardness. God those eyes, looking up to me with all this openness, I didn’t want to disappoint her, but I had to. My answer was no.

She looked surprised for a moment then crushed. I felt awful. Of course in my wildest fantasies I would be back there, I told her. I explained as much as I enjoyed it, I can not allow myself to go back.

I joked about ending up their little sex slave, at their beck and call. I fantasised about sitting around their house naked ready and wanting. God that idea turned me on, but I knew it would end up a warped, cold relationship eventually.

Who would cuddle me at night? Who would fuck me in the morning? Days out, holding hands in the street, making plans, saying I love you, all those little big things. Emily had all these things, things that I neither missed nor longed for in my single life. My single life was about having the freedom to explore my sexuality. I knew, over time I would feel like I was missing out and maybe become envious, or lonely. I didn’t want to take that risk, and above all, risk our friendship over a bitterness that couldn’t be helped.

She understood and accepted my reasons and hugged me like a best friend. She said ‘I love you’ in my ear, and I loved her too, but I didn’t say anything back. I was already regretting saying no. But I knew it was the right thing to do.

This was my first threesome, it must have been at least 6 years ago now. All of the above was written at the time, with minor edits. I found it tucked away in an old note book, I had forgotten how I wrote about my experiences years go too.

It’s funny how life comes back around, and in hindsight I made the right decision. 

Emily and I are now more like sisters, I have an unconditional love for her and a connection that has never faded even long after Mike and through all the turmoil our friendship has had. I wouldn’t change a thing.

It’s easy to learn from our mistakes, but is it as easy to learn when you do the right thing?

Mia x

I would like to share with you some highlights from the last year.

The good, the bad and the downright depraved.

Lets start at the beginning.

The first post. I ever so innocently asked for a collar, not having much of a clue about the meaning behind it and even less of a clue about my own desires.

All I knew was I wanted something hard, thick and restrictive around my neck. I wanted to feel like a piece of property and used like I didn’t matter. When picking the collar I didn’t want any of that fluffy soft shit. It needed to be leather, and it needed a lead.

Down The Rabbit Hole

Since then, there have been many firsts.

The first time pain turned me on.

The first time I was whisked away for filthy hotel room sex.

My first (and only) attempt at being funny, pondering over what it would be like to have a penis.

First time I got my vagina out in the name of Art.

First blog recording.

And then there’s the ones you loved!

The reigning champion search term is still Forced Orgasm!

The award for the most clicks on a blog post goes to Sodden sheets!

Finally, the most popular pictures.

I would like to make a few mentions because I had no idea I would make it to blogging for a whole year.

Hungry Joe, the man who named me Beau, the first chapter, the one who gave me the collar and helped me start out this blog.

The Erotic Meet gang. Meeting accepting, open-minded, creative individuals gave me the confidence boost to think I could do it myself.

Molly’s Daily Kiss. For finding my blog when it was brand new and being one of the best friends I have made in the last year.

You. I love how this has grown. I appreciate every comment, every click. I am a total stats whore and my how the stats make me happy.

And of course all the other filthy individuals who have become part of my life and allowed me to publish all the nasty things we do. Keep giving me material!

Thanks!! You’re all awesome!!

Speaking of nasty things, it’s only going to get worse.

I don’t write because I have a blog, I write because I want to. I started writing for me, to put all the pieces together. Lately, not so much of the writing has happened. But I will make no apologies for not writing, as I will make no apologies for what I do write.

I write honest accounts of my life and the things I enjoy doing. They may not be the things you enjoy doing. They may make you cringe, recoil in horror, or turn you on; or like me normally all three! There will be no disclaimers. I will assume, since you follow my blog, you want to follow me further down the rabbit hole.

I will leave you with my favourite post, What I Want.

Mia x

See who else is being sinful…

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #39? Start with the newly updated rules, come back August 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ Top 3 ~

Wrong On Every Level – “If you wouldn’t ask them to borrow $20 bucks, how the fuck is it ok for you to ask them to fuck you? Oh right, it’s not.”

Good Girl – “She nearly melted into me. When I finally released her, she exhaled–she had been holding her breath.”

The Three Minute Game – “The timer went off and I breathed out, both a sigh of relief and disappointment that it was over.”

~ Featured Post (Picked by Lilly) ~

Bitch- “I don’t let her run the show…but she’s always around. She’s in the background saying: Bullshit”

e[lust] Editress: Dangerous Lilly

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Kink & Fetish

Anticipation
Bondage Blowjob
Filling you up
Learn the rope of knots: Square knot
Public tease
Swinging in Paris
Switch: Between Dom & sub – A BDSM Interlude

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

A Porn and Masturbation Trifecta
Cathartic
Deal breakers
Deborah Sundahl’s Class & Female Ejaculation
How my pussy has changed
On Rejection
Outgrowing One-Nighters (At Least in Part)
The Good, the Bad, but Never the Ugly

Erotic Writing

4 O’clock in the Morning
At the Campsite
Brutal Passion
Cold Hot Cold
Empty
I want to spoil you
I’m a Bootlicker, and That’s Okay
I’ll Take Two Please!
In the Soft Morning Light
Lolita Twenty-Twelve
My orgasm
Parked
Preparation
Peter and Sophie on Holiday
Slow tease
Sodden Sheets
The Guide
The First Time Again
Week Night Sex

Photo: OkSpaceboy

See who else is being sinful…

My arms were trying to support my weight on the work top as my legs melted when jets of fluid left my body repeatedly.

Somehow it was worse, because I could hear it hitting the tiles with that wet slapping sound like someone pissing.

My feet were drenched. It poured down my legs.

I caught a glimpse of what I was standing in and started shaking my head. Not again. Please, no more.

I felt like I was on show. I was providing the evenings spectacle as he pumped his fingers in me and I gushed down myself on queue. I tried to resist, but he pushed me back and didn’t stop. He would take his hand away all of a sudden and it just shot out of me.

It was like something out of a porn film. This doesn’t happen in real life.

There were three other people in the room, another couple, his girlfriend, then me hiding my face on him. I didn’t like being watched by them. This was new to me.

I wanted to hide. I wanted to stop. I didn’t want to be watched. But I did. I wanted to be pushed through it. It was the humiliation. The lack of control as he made jet after jet flood the kitchen floor. I don’t like being watched but I think that’s why I liked it.

I could hear them gasping. Saying, ‘That’s hot. That’s so sexy.’

I didn’t feel sexy. I just felt hidey. I wanted to curl up in a ball.

When he stopped he held me close, held me up because my knees were weak. I was still spasming causing trickles to run down my leg, leaving a trail behind as we moved away from the puddle.

‘We should put down a wet floor sign.’ He said.

Everyone laughed. I giggled into his chest.

‘Are you alright?’ He asked. I nodded and didn’t let go.

I tried to collect myself, by that I mean I sat on the floor towel drying my body. I couldn’t look at anyone.

They kept saying how sexy that was. ‘You are sexy, that was hot!’ I didn’t feel unsexy, just shy. Why do I always want to hide?

Maybe one day I’ll embrace it and not be afraid or worry about how much mess I make. Or how much I squirt. Maybe I’ll stop hiding.

If they were not there…

Tell me I have made a mess.
Make me clean it up.
On all fours on the floor.

Fuck me in it first.
Rub my nose in it.

Don’t forget to say,
Well done.

I didn’t read anything more into it as the whole evening rolled into one long dirty conversation. I explained it had happened to me before but it just felt like their cocks were just right for hitting that spot. It was so infrequent I didn’t need worry about the state of anyone’s bed sheets.

Once we had moved into the bedroom and after this happened I was naked and I had forgotten all about it.

I can’t remember how it started, he just positioned me laying back on the bed. He moved my legs and made sure his arm was at the right angle. I realised what he was going for when he started moving his fingers inside me, suddenly that conversation came back. I wanted to squirm away. I didn’t think he would achieve it, mainly because I didn’t get a chance to.

I was moaning as he pumped his fingers inside me. My abdomen was taught and my fingers gripped the sheets. It was uncontrollable and I remember worrying about my sex face for a moment before something else grasped my attention.

Whatever he was doing, it was so perfect I didn’t even feel it coming. It hit me like a wall. I couldn’t hear anything over my own strained panting and yelping. I felt the sheets become sodden underneath me. The sound of his hand slapping against my skin became sloppier. I was laying there thinking I can’t believe he has just done it. Just like that. As if it was the easiest thing for my body to do. He pulled out his fingers and smeared it across my face. He dipped his fingers back inside my still tense pussy then put them in my mouth.

It tasted sweet. I relaxed. In the back of my mind there is still a little voice that says this feels like pissing. But it isn’t. The texture is light and slippery tastes sweet like warm sugar water.

I caught my breath a bit and I shook my head and tried to move out of my own puddle. He pressed me back in place with a cold determined look on his face. He didn’t respond to the pleading in my eyes. He returned his fingers to my cunt.

What, again? Yes again. And again. And again. The fluid started leaving my pussy with more force. His fingers pumping inside me creating more pressure meant I was literally showering myself.

I could feel it running down the sides of my waist and pooling on my chest. My legs were drenched and my arse was sticking to the cold wet sheets.

The more I flooded all over myself the more I couldn’t control it. I couldn’t have held it in if I tried. I was laying in a massive wet spot of my own creating. I felt sorry for making such a mess. Something in my head was saying how can he do this where many haven’t. Where does it all come from, there is so much. I was coated. My skin was shining. My stomach muscles were aching. How is this happening? My mind was all over the place but still I laid there while he did it again and again.

An image of Alice in wonderland popped into my head, how she cried a sea of tears…

I think I started saying no more no more at some point. Which was ignored at first.

He pulled me up onto my knees. Elle had quietly watched the whole thing, I couldn’t look at her face. I didn’t know why I was so embarrassed, but I hid.

‘Look at what a mess you have made on our bed sheets. They’re soaked.’

He forced my face onto the bed like you would a naughty animal in its own mess. He held my head and rubbed my face in it. I felt ashamed. It felt dirty. It felt good. It only made me wetter.

He did it again later. I didn’t think I would have any more in me. In the end I had to say stop because I was feeling so sensitive inside from all the pummeling. But he didn’t stop, not until I had managed to squirt myself in the face.

Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #38? Start with the newly updated rules, come back July 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ Top 3 ~

Coming to Terms with Being Gay – From the time I was seven I was raised Mormon, which meant I wasn’t allowed to have a girlfriend until I was 16 or to have sex until I was married.

What I Want – I want to be humiliated. Call me a slut. Call me a whore. Slap my face. Expose me.

Dinner Party Entertainment – At that moment, J’s eyes went wide–he finally realized I was leaving him there, tied to the bed.

~ Featured Post (Picked by Lilly) ~

My Abstinence Only “Sex Education” – The speakers were a married, Christian couple, and the man told us about how he had pledged to stay a virgin until he was married.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Your Crappy Writing Turns Me Off – Your written words are your clothes, your power, your voice, your facial expressions and that by which we measure intelligence, personality and even attractiveness.

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

A New Found Respect for Bondage Educators
Cunt: Healing sexual abuse
Equal but Different
Fuck you. Without a condom
Harper Eliot’s Guide to Surviving Drop Alone
PolyAnna’s Musings: What About the Kids
Settling down–bullshit free

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Sweet Valley High Meets the Story of Oh My!
Women’s rape fantasies
Why May is Nat’l Masturbation Month

Erotic Writing

Ache
A Word on What Your Words Do to Me
Anything the Lady Wants
Breathless
Cemetery Sex
Dropped Call
Fucking a Stranger’s Wife While He Watched
Folly, part 4
Getting His Attention
Jerk and Tug
Jill’s Look Back at Masturbation Month
Like a Faggot
Phontographs (fiction, part 1)
Release
Senses and Scents
Spearmint Rhino
Swing: Part I
The Dance
Touch Me, Tease Me

Kink & Fetish

Earning My Wings
fantasy with beast/the train ride
His first crop spanking
Learn the rope of knots: Larks Head
Popping my anal cherry
Stress Relief
Staying power
The Cutting Edge
Tie Me Up! ~ I think…
Why chastity is hot
What I Like and Why

Photos: @JamesOhPhoto

See who else is being sinful…

Because my bottom hasn’t had any air time yet.

Photos: @okspaceboy

See who else is being sinful…